Racially Inaccurate

One of the most frustrating things in today’s society is racial profiling. You see it everywhere. White people locking their car doors in black neighborhoods, cops pulling over black people when they weren’t speeding to look for drugs, taxis avoiding black people because they worry they will at worst be robbed, and at best be left unpaid. Not cool.

But black people aren’t the only people who struggle with racial profiling. As an American Indian (I’m not sure what kind) and an Italian (And some other cauc-boring heritages I don’t identify with), I too have struggled with racial profiling. Even some of the closest people to me have brought into my life the grief associated with racial profiling. My own husband, upon learning of my native American heritage (<1%), asked me if I had a spirit guide, if I like tribal music, and worst of all, if I could paint with all the colors of the wind. I was outraged. No, I don’t know how to use an axe. No I don’t sleep in a teepee. This is stereotyping. Racial stereotyping. I, like all indians, buy my wood at Home Depot. I sleep in a condo near downtown Decatur. We listen to top 40. We are just like you. Shame on you, husband. Shame on you.

Similarly, people always ask me…”Dinner at your grandparents must be the best!” And I mean, yes it is. My grandmother makes a mean Schiacciata. But that is a racial stereotype, and I do not appreciate it. Its not OK to assume that just because I’m Italian I can make really great bready foods, or that I have a firey attitude that makes me look prettier when I’m mad, or that I’m an excellent lover, or that I will age well. Those things may be true, they may not be. My point is that is it racial stereotyping. Let’s rise above this travesty and get to know people for what they are, without making assumptions.

What I hate: Racial profiling

What I love: Dream catchers and pizza

Polos For Piercings

I don’t know much about the regular sized Five Points, but Little Five Points (Atlanta) has a serious problem. Filled with great restaurants, decent shopping, and some nearby chain-

essentials (Best Buy, Borders, Target), Little Five Points is also plagued with a serious problem: weirdos.

Normally I would just forget about a place that has large groups of pierced and painted Goths, or white people with no shirt on and dred locks, or people riding their bike with two different shoes on and an oxygen tank as a backpack . BUT Savage Pizza has good pizza (Atlanta good, not New York good), and Front Page News has good dessert – and enough tv’s for every eyeball in the place to be watching a different game. I also hear The Vortex is pretty good, though I admit I haven’t had the guts to go in there because the entrance seems to encourage the hooligans, and they generally congregate there - after all, the tetanus shot is not 100% effective. We all say that we’re not cool enough to go to Little Five alone, but we all know the real reason regular people go there in groups is because they’re afraid to be licked or get their palm read by a man with no hands.

The Caucasian prep student in me feels very strongly about this issue.  And the Evangelist knows just what to do about it. So without further ado, I present to you a new ministry targeted at the freaks of Little Five Points. You give us your piercings, we'll give you a polo. 

We come in peace. We’re here to help. Please don’t touch me. 

It's OK to hate music

You're not alone.

I <3 Megan Joy Corkrey too...

1. She dresses like a church girl, but has a giant tattoo on her arm. 

2. She's from UT. Home of the Mormons, who I love.

3. She influences Paula to use big words like "relevant" and "current."

4. She's not afraid to pull her pants up repeatedly on live national tv.

5. I want to marry her.

6. Blondes aren't even my type.

7. And she sings well. 

Miss you Megan. 

Paris Hilton is my new BFF

In today’s media environment that centers around sex, drugs, and prescription drugs, it’s very refreshing when young minds take a stand against that kind of trivial focus. It shows us that young people today do feel passionately about the issues and that they will no longer take the blue pill of denial. An excellent example of this kind of youth activism can be see in Paris Hilton’s new series, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. In this MTV sponsored reality show, 16 women and 2 men compete in challenges in order to become Paris' best friend, forever. This reality show takes a stand against the unbalanced emphases of society in two ways. Firstly, in a world where it is quickly being forgotten, Paris shows the value of friendship as more important than sexual relationships. Paris shows a dedication to friendship that extends past a transient case of codependence. Instead she feels that friendship is an institution that should last forever. Secondly, Paris places a firm emphasis on sincerity, both in implementing a challenge to weed out “fakeness” and correcting the girls when they don’t give the situation the weight it deserves as she scolds, “I don’t feel like you’re taking this seriously. You’re laughing right now.” In order to create a more genuine world, she encourages the girls to honest with one another, even to the point of hurt feelings, which is proven in Britney’s words to Kiki, “kiki. You can be a real b**** sometimes. Like (whistle). Like you know what I’m talking about. Like a really big b*****.” Truly, Paris is a revolutionary, and worthy of the title of Seminal Psycher. Kudos to you, Ms. Hilton.

Why Can’t I be me, at the DMV?

So you have your E-78 Change of Name Request form, your current drivers license, and your certified documentation that shows the change of name (i.e. marriage license, divorce decree, probate court documents.) You even have the sixty-six dollars cash. You’re feeling pretty pumped because you know you’ve met all the CT DMV requirements for a name change.

The hour and a half wait is no big deal. You expected that. You’re ready. The periodic yelling and swearing of patrons before you doesn’t even scare you- you know you did your research. Then finally its your turn. The moment you’ve been waiting for.

“And what is the name you’d like to change to,” asks the morbidly obese high-school dropout behind the desk, “Austin Marie Sena McCaslin, please.” His answer, and the answer apparently condoned by the Connecticut government? “No.”

No, a space is not a valid character in a first, middle, or last name. As for all the Da Vincis, San Pascuales, or Di Nicolas? Well, your name is not recognized by the American government.

I see three routes for sticking it to the man in this situation:

1. Letters, emails, and petitions. Maybe a protest? I’m not really a fan.
2. Every baby from today on is named the same exact thing, varying only in the placement of a space.
3. All children are named using wingdings font.

What I love: People who live off the grid

What I hate: People who don't

This week in...."This Story is About Real People"

Sometimes in war it is easier to manipulate circumstances rather than committing to all out confrontation. When you charge an enemy, their defensive measures can cause all kinds of complications. But if you make the enemy think they are acting of their own will, you might accomplish the same end with minimal effort.


Yes, the kung fu of the red-bearded dragon is strong. Tangled in the snares of the red-bearded dragon, the chocolate lab found himself captive, far from the baby brown bear. She knew he was tricked and therefore went willingly, but how long could the baby brown bear fight for the chocolate lab, when she knew he wasn’t fighting for himself? Will she stand by her lab? Or will she rack up all kinds of credit card debt as a passive aggressive plea for attention?

Stay tuned for the next installment of…This Story is About Real People