Paris Hilton is my new BFF

In today’s media environment that centers around sex, drugs, and prescription drugs, it’s very refreshing when young minds take a stand against that kind of trivial focus. It shows us that young people today do feel passionately about the issues and that they will no longer take the blue pill of denial. An excellent example of this kind of youth activism can be see in Paris Hilton’s new series, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. In this MTV sponsored reality show, 16 women and 2 men compete in challenges in order to become Paris' best friend, forever. This reality show takes a stand against the unbalanced emphases of society in two ways. Firstly, in a world where it is quickly being forgotten, Paris shows the value of friendship as more important than sexual relationships. Paris shows a dedication to friendship that extends past a transient case of codependence. Instead she feels that friendship is an institution that should last forever. Secondly, Paris places a firm emphasis on sincerity, both in implementing a challenge to weed out “fakeness” and correcting the girls when they don’t give the situation the weight it deserves as she scolds, “I don’t feel like you’re taking this seriously. You’re laughing right now.” In order to create a more genuine world, she encourages the girls to honest with one another, even to the point of hurt feelings, which is proven in Britney’s words to Kiki, “kiki. You can be a real b**** sometimes. Like (whistle). Like you know what I’m talking about. Like a really big b*****.” Truly, Paris is a revolutionary, and worthy of the title of Seminal Psycher. Kudos to you, Ms. Hilton.

Why Can’t I be me, at the DMV?

So you have your E-78 Change of Name Request form, your current drivers license, and your certified documentation that shows the change of name (i.e. marriage license, divorce decree, probate court documents.) You even have the sixty-six dollars cash. You’re feeling pretty pumped because you know you’ve met all the CT DMV requirements for a name change.

The hour and a half wait is no big deal. You expected that. You’re ready. The periodic yelling and swearing of patrons before you doesn’t even scare you- you know you did your research. Then finally its your turn. The moment you’ve been waiting for.

“And what is the name you’d like to change to,” asks the morbidly obese high-school dropout behind the desk, “Austin Marie Sena McCaslin, please.” His answer, and the answer apparently condoned by the Connecticut government? “No.”

No, a space is not a valid character in a first, middle, or last name. As for all the Da Vincis, San Pascuales, or Di Nicolas? Well, your name is not recognized by the American government.

I see three routes for sticking it to the man in this situation:

1. Letters, emails, and petitions. Maybe a protest? I’m not really a fan.
2. Every baby from today on is named the same exact thing, varying only in the placement of a space.
3. All children are named using wingdings font.

What I love: People who live off the grid

What I hate: People who don't