Why Can’t I be me, at the DMV?

So you have your E-78 Change of Name Request form, your current drivers license, and your certified documentation that shows the change of name (i.e. marriage license, divorce decree, probate court documents.) You even have the sixty-six dollars cash. You’re feeling pretty pumped because you know you’ve met all the CT DMV requirements for a name change.

The hour and a half wait is no big deal. You expected that. You’re ready. The periodic yelling and swearing of patrons before you doesn’t even scare you- you know you did your research. Then finally its your turn. The moment you’ve been waiting for.

“And what is the name you’d like to change to,” asks the morbidly obese high-school dropout behind the desk, “Austin Marie Sena McCaslin, please.” His answer, and the answer apparently condoned by the Connecticut government? “No.”

No, a space is not a valid character in a first, middle, or last name. As for all the Da Vincis, San Pascuales, or Di Nicolas? Well, your name is not recognized by the American government.

I see three routes for sticking it to the man in this situation:

1. Letters, emails, and petitions. Maybe a protest? I’m not really a fan.
2. Every baby from today on is named the same exact thing, varying only in the placement of a space.
3. All children are named using wingdings font.

What I love: People who live off the grid

What I hate: People who don't